Paris Should Be Burning . . . In Hell

She sucks. She exemplifies everything wrong with this country. Call me a prude, but there was a time when leaked footage of a wannabe starlet sucking some loser's cock was enough to be a career-ending scandal. Now it gets you your own show (see "Keeping up with the Kardashians" for the most recent example). Michael Richards (who had a respectable body of work, most notably his turn as Stanley Spadowski in the Weird Al masterpiece "UHF") calls some guys niggers and he will never work again. Isiah Washington calls someone a faggot in a private altercation and gets booted from one of the top shows on TV. (Don't ever get me started on The Dog, bra.) I am fine with this. There should be consequences for this type of ignorant and reprehensible behavior. (I don't expect Mel Gibson to be in a Fiddler On the Roof revival any time soon either.) What I don't understand is how she gets away with it. Paris has been repeatedly taped using these same terms in a derogatory manner and there has been no fall out. She gets repeated DUI's and has her sentence commuted by the LA county sheriff's office in direct violation of the Judge's orders. She's the Teflon Diva. The only thing that sticks to her is sperm. People watched her on the Simple Life and made fun of her for not being able to do menial tasks, forgetting that she was making millions of dollars to not be able to do what regular people make minimum wage for. Who is the idiot? Is it her because she doesn't know how to do her own laundry, or is it assholes like us because we tune in for it. Say what you want about Britney, but at least she has sold some records. Paris keeps failing up. Her album flops, her movie career has been an abject failure, her show got canceled, and yet she is as famous now as she has ever been. And why is she famous, what was the launching pad for her "success": THE FACT THAT SHE WAS FUCKING RICH IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's fucking insane. It is enough to make me cancel my Hilton Honors reward program, (but I am only 12,000 more points from a free weekday stay at the Kankakee Hampton Inn.) We are so obsessed with money and celebrity that we have returned to some sort of perverted Great Gatsbyism where we celebrate people just for already being rich and moderately attractive. Its like the entire country has become one big high school where we worship the attractive popular rich kids despite the fact that we secretly hate them. And the ridiculous end result becomes: they get fucking RICHER. Paris Hilton became famous because her parents had money and in doing so she has become legitimately wealthy in her own right. She made literally millions of dollars off the sale of her own sex tape after failing to get a an injunction to prohibit its sale. She has made millions on top of that for her show, her book, endorsements and the like. She get tens of thousands of dollars to make an "appearance." In the words of weight loss guru Susan Powter, "Stop the insanity!" So turn off Laguna Beach, the Hills, My Super Sweet 16, and all this other contrived melodrama where these douche bag kids are deified because their rich dads married their shallow trophy wife moms and had vapid attractive children. Remember you are supposed to hate these people. This is the real world, where the cool kids grew up to reveal themselves as the assholes they always were and the rich kids just developed drug habits.



I am so worked up I willingly posted something from Fox News!